


te necesito en mi vida

by rjtonamen



Series: siempre amigos, nunca inamigos [1]
Category: J. Balvin - Fandom, Music RPF, Nicky Jam - Fandom
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best Friends, Drunk Texting, Drunken Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rjtonamen/pseuds/rjtonamen
Summary: yet another drunken confession of love turns into.... something.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [marigoldiosa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/marigoldiosa/gifts).



**JB:** “Hermanooooo”  
**JB:** “Te amo y te necesito en mi vidaaaa”

 **NJ:** “noooo not again. are you drunk dude?”

 **JB:** “YES”  
**JB:** “NICKY”  
**JB:** “VERY”

 **NJ:** “was that first message meant for me?”

 **JB:** “YES”

 **NJ:** “no. bro. we’ve talked about this. you know i love you como un hermano. te quiero, no te amo.”

 **JB:** “....Oh shit, you’re not Valentina”

 **NJ:** “no i’m not & you know it. unless you call your gf hermano too.”

 **JB:** “Damn it”

 **NJ:** “nice try.”

 **JB:** “Pero. I may be drunk pero. We HAVE talked about this y tu sabes k te amo y te quiero tbn”

 **NJ:** “speaking of your gf…”

 **JB:** “Don’t bring her into this”  
**JB:** “It’s different.”

 **NJ:** “different? is this like a ‘de las 2’ thing?”

 **JB:** “Don’t bring benito into this either”

 **NJ:** “not what i meant but ok. go to bed man. go home if you’re still out. call me in the morning and pretend this never happened, ok? i can’t have this conversation again.”

 **JB:** “Can’t or won’t?”

 **NJ:** “can’t”

 **JB:** “Why not.”

 **NJ:** “xq i know you want a different answer and i won’t give you one”  
**NJ:** “*can’t”

 **JB:** “....Can’t or won’t?”

 **NJ:** “god damn it”

 **JB:** “Nicky”  
**JB:** “Nickyyyyy”  
**JB:** “Are you on do not disturb”  
**JB:** “Are you on airplane mode”  
**JB:** “Nicky come back”

 **NJ:** “i’m not sure, okay?”

 **JB:** “.....”  
**JB:** “... Not sure if you’re on airplane mode?”

 **NJ:** “no. fuck. not sure if i can’t or won’t”

 **JB:** “Ohhhhhh”

 **NJ:** “i shouldn’t be saying this while you’re drunk”

 **JB:** “Who’s drunk? Not me. Siempre un borracho nunca borracho.”  
**JB:** “un borracho”  
**JB:** “un borracho”  
**JB:** “FUCK”  
**JB:** “INBORRACHO”  
**JB:** “Un poco borracho. Anyway. Go on.”

 **NJ:** “this is why...”  
**NJ:** “nvm.”

 **JB:** “?”

 **NJ:** “you’re right that it’s different”

 **JB:** “Do I need to call you?”

 **NJ:** “NO. hold on.”

 **JB:** “Holding.”

 **NJ:** “i don’t know. you’ve made it very clear how you feel -- obviously it’s clear in your head. but it’s not in mine. you’re my best friend of course but sometimes i have Questions. and 2am ‘te amo’ texts don’t help. know what i mean?”

 **JB:** “Are YOU drunk?”

 **NJ:** “not funny.”

 **JB:** “I know, I’m sorry. Sure you don’t want me to call you?”

 **NJ:** “100pc.”  
**NJ:** “actually, nvm. forget i said anything. let’s pretend this never happened.”

 **JB:** “I’d rather not.”

 **NJ:** “we forget it when you say stuff.”

 **JB:** “No, we don’t.”  
**JB:** “I don’t.”  
**JB:** “We pretend to forget but it’s still in there.”

 **NJ:** “where?”

 **JB:** “My head? idk”  
**JB:** “.....are you on airplane mode again?”

 **NJ:** “mine too”

 **JB:** “?”

 **NJ:** “in my head too”

 **JB:** “oh”

 **NJ:** “remember that party?”

 **JB:** “Which party?”

 **NJ:** “ya sabes”

 **JB:** “THAT party. How could i forget?”

 **NJ:** “you started your buenosdiasbuenosdiasbuenosdias videos right after that.”

 **JB:** “Yeah?”

 **NJ:** “why?”

 **JB:** “No reason.”

 **NJ:** “bullshit”

 **JB:** “You want the reason?”  
**JB:** “Because it made you laugh so much that morning.”  
**JB:** “THAT morning. Even tho I was super hungover and you were freaking out.”

 **NJ:** “jesus. & you wonder why i have Questions.”

 **JB:** “I wonder why you never TOLD me you have questions”  
**JB:** “or Questions”  
**JB:** “What are you scared of?”

 **NJ:** “no me preguntes eso”

 **JB:** “Por que no?”

 **NJ:** “xq no se la respuesta.”

 **JB:** “Pero hay una respuesta.”

 **NJ:** “who are you with?”

 **JB:** “Take a wild guess.”

 **NJ:** “hola, sky”

 **JB:** “Sky dice hola tbn”

 **NJ:** “anybody else?”

 **JB:** “Not anymore. Everybody left.”  
**JB:** “Creo k voy a encontrar somebody to take home”  
**JB:** “A mi gran casa vacia”  
**JB:** “To make sure i don’t die of alcohol poisoning”

 **NJ:** “don’t”

 **JB:** “Why not?”

 **NJ:** “just don’t. have sky take you home.”  
**NJ:** “ok?”  
**NJ:** “helloooo”  
**NJ:** “answer me please so i know you’re alive”  
**NJ:** “are YOU on airplane mode?”  
**NJ:** “ok tan maduro”  
**NJ:** “you probably found somebody. have fun.”  
**NJ:** “i’m going tf to sleep.”


	2. Chapter 2

Nicky does fall asleep eventually, though he’s still fully-dressed and upright on the sofa and unaware that he’d even closed his eyes. At first he can’t tell what woke him -- it had to be something, or he wouldn’t be so alert now. A sound? He listens. Nothing.

Maybe it was the dream. He can’t remember the plot, just impressions: hot reflected light, a ravenous hunger, a tattooed arm, the kind of high you can’t get from any drug. The images fade quickly, but the hangover-like post-nightmare feeling remains. Not that it was a nightmare, exactly… or maybe it was. He’s already forgetting.

Just as he stands to head toward bed, there’s a knock at his door. It’s nearly three AM, but somehow he’s not surprised when he opens the door and sees Sky standing there, one of Balvin’s arms slung over his shoulder. Nicky sighs.

“Oh, thank God you’re awake,” Sky says. “I can’t deal with him anymore. Here. He’s your problem now.”

Before Nicky can respond, Balvin is half-stepping, half-falling into his arms, and Sky is throwing a peace sign over his shoulder. “God damn it,” Nicky whispers to himself. Balvin murmurs something unintelligible.

Nicky has taken care of his drunk friend enough times that he already knows the drill. He’s too tired to drag Balvin all the way to the spare bedroom, though, so they stumble toward the sofa and Nicky deposits him there, throwing a blanket over him almost as an afterthought. For any other guest, he’d leave out a glass of water and a pair of aspirin for their inevitable hangover, but Balvin is hardly a guest. He knows where everything is in this house just as well as Nicky does.

Every time he does this, he swears it’s the last time he’ll do it. It’s hard enough being a dad to his actual kids; parenting his friends isn’t exactly his idea of a good time. Especially after yet another round of two-AM feelings-texts with Balvin. He’s comforted only by the knowledge that Balvin likely won’t remember much tomorrow morning, if his current state is any indication.

Balvin murmurs something again, this time almost coherent.

“What?” Nicky asks.

“Dije que te amo,” Balvin mumbles.

Nicky’s chest tightens the way it always does when he hears those words from his best friend. He stands there a long time, frozen mid-step on his way out of the room. He considers his words carefully, but it doesn’t matter; by the time he finally says “good night,” Balvin is snoring.


	3. Chapter 3

The kitchen light is already on when Nicky gets up a few hours later. Balvin sits at the kitchen island, nursing a coffee and looking worse than usual; he barely acknowledges Nicky, only lifting his hand in a gesture that’s almost a wave.

“Buenos dias, buenos dias, buenos dias,” Nicky says drily. Balvin rolls his eyes. “Sleep well?”

“No.”

Nicky pours himself a cup of coffee and leans against the counter opposite Balvin. “Can we --”

Balvin cuts him off. “Valentina left.”

“What? When?” The questions are out of his mouth before he can stop them, and he quickly backpedals. “I mean, I’m sorry, man. Anything I can do?”

“Yeah, no. Nothing anybody can do at this point, I don’t think. She didn’t exactly seem open to negotiation last time I saw her.”

“Not really what I --”

“I know.”

A beat of silence. Both sip their coffee. Nicky starts to speak, but Balvin cuts him off again.

“Before you ask, I don’t remember a whole lot from last night. I reread the texts. I may not remember writing them, but they’re all pretty much true. Except the part where I said I wasn’t drunk.” He laughs, no humor in it.

“I didn’t believe that, anyway.”

“You know me so well.”

“Yeah, I do,” Nicky says.

Another beat.

Finally, Balvin sighs. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m sorry? I’m not. I mean, I’m sorry for crashing on your couch -- _again,_ God -- but not for the stuff before that. I think I’ve made my position pretty clear. I can’t promise I won’t say it again if I get drunk again, but…” He shrugs. “Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Nicky can feel Balvin staring at him, but he just stares into his coffee cup. He’d sooner pour the mug’s steaming contents over his head than make eye contact with his best friend right now. In fact, the longer he stands there in silence, the more appealing an intentional spill looks. At least it would be a distraction.

He reaches for a less messy subject change, but nothing sticks in his mind. He’s never felt this uncomfortable talking to Balvin, even after the last ten times they had this morning-after capital-T Talk. Even after that party -- _that_ party -- things weren’t this awkward. But then again, Nicky has never examined his feelings so closely, no matter how many times Balvin asked him to. 

Valentina out of the picture makes things complicated. More complicated, anyway. It’s been years since they were both single at the same time; even when the questions popped up, he could tamp them down by reminding himself of his wife or their girlfriends. But now… now, he doesn’t have that easy out.

“Will you do something for me?” he asks.

“Yeah, anything,” Balvin replies, surprised.

When he starts the sentence, Nicky hardly knows how it’s going to end, but he finishes it anyway. “Will you kiss me right now?”

“Will I -- what?”

“You heard me. You want things to be clearer for me, right?”

“Right. Yeah.” Balvin blinks. “But are you --”

“Consider it research, then.”

As if they haven’t kissed before. As if they didn’t do more than that at the party. As if Nicky isn’t sure that he wants it as badly as he knows Balvin does.

“Research,” Balvin echoes. Nicky can see him processing, the wheels turning in his head. He sets his cup down slowly and stands, but makes no move to come around to Nicky’s side of the counter. “I feel like I need to make a joke about this, but I can’t think of anything.”

Nicky smiles. “Good. Because I’m not joking.”

The silence as Balvin walks around to stand in front of Nicky is heavy. It takes barely five seconds, but it feels like an hour. Plenty of time for Nicky to second-guess himself. This is a bad idea, really. Objectively. Even without significant others in the way, there are so many reasons why they shouldn’t do this. A thousand reasons, not least of which --

No. Nicky pushes the thoughts away and, in the same movement, pulls his best friend toward him and kisses him fiercely. It feels like a first kiss, surprising even though they’d planned it, a little off-center, messy in the best way, hungry. That high-but-not feeling from the dream is back, and Nicky holds Balvin by the arm as if one or both of them might float away at any second.

They’re both on the brink of laughter when they finally part. It takes a moment for them to catch their breath; Balvin is the first to speak. “How’s that for research?”

The Spanish phrase in his head doesn’t sound quite right, so Nicky answers in English. “Inconclusive,” he says.

“Siempre --” Balvin starts, but Nicky cuts him off with another kiss before he can finish the line.

The second is better than the first. They’re both smiling, finally almost relaxed. Less desperate, still hungry, they slow down. They breathe together. Nothing is off-center now; it’s no one’s first kiss, not by a long shot. It’s not that their bodies fit together perfectly, exactly, but they make them fit, and it still feels right.

But when Balvin’s hands slide downward and his fingers hook around the waistband of Nicky’s pajama pants, Nicky sucks in a sharp breath and pulls back. He hardly realizes he’s grabbed Balvin’s wrist until he glances down and sees it; he drops it and leans back against the counter.

“I’m sorry,” Balvin says. “I thought --”

Nicky shakes his head. “I’m not -- I’m not saying no. Or, I am, but not like before. More like… not yet. I still need some time.”

“I understand.”

“I can’t… can’t say what you say to me back to you yet, either. I need some time for that too. But I liked that. I like this.”

“Kissing in your kitchen?” Balvin says with a half-smile. “Should I put you up on the counter like we’re in a romance novel?”

“You’re more than welcome to try,” Nicky laughs.

Balvin laughs, too, but then his face turns serious. “I like this, too,” he says. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I can wait longer if you need me to. Until your research is more conclusive and --”

“If you’re about to say ‘nunca inconclusive,’ you can just get out right now.”

“Well…”

Balvin half-turns as if to leave, but Nicky catches him around the waist to stop him. “Wait, no. Don’t go yet.”

“I’ve been waiting for that for a long time, too.”

Nicky takes a deep breath. “I may not be ready to say the other part yet, but -- te necesito en mi vida. And whatever happens here, you’re still going to be my best friend. Okay?”

Instead of answering, Balvin kisses him again, softer, and somehow it is an answer. The tension is gone. They already know each other’s rhythms. The capital-Q Question that hung over their heads for so long isn’t quite capital-A Answered, but close.

There are even more questions now, of course, different questions, but Nicky doesn’t let himself think about them yet. Right now, he lets himself think only about Balvin, yesterday his hermano and today -- something else. Whatever the label, he’s happy with the change. They both are.

And a minute later, when their kisses are more bold and their hands start to wander again, Nicky isn’t thinking much of anything but _yes._


End file.
